New York State Court Rules Elephants Are Not People… Seriously

With all the other critical and depressing news stories filling our social media feeds and cluttering our minds, it would understandable if this piece of groundbreaking jurisprudence slipped through the cracks in one’s effort to be well-informed. On Tuesday, the State of New York’s highest court ruled in a 5-2 decision against the efforts of a group known as the Nonhuman Rights Project which asserted that an Asian elephant named Happy was being illegally “detained” in The Bronx Zoo.

And yes, you read that correctly: Two judges actually ruled in favor of the idea that Happy is really a human being.

According to Axios:

“The Nonhuman Rights Project, a nonprofit focused on animal rights, argued that the right to habeas corpus — which protects against illegal detention — should be extended to emotionally complex animals… [arguing] that Happy was being illegally detained by the Bronx Zoo and ought to be transferred to an elephant sanctuary.”

Presumably, in an effort to gain sympathy for Happy, the founder of NRP Steven Wise explained, “She’s a depressed, screwed-up elephant.” We bet she is, Mr. Wise… we bet she is. (Again, and for clarification, this article is not satire.)

There are so many elements of this story that are illustrative of what is wrong with leftists in our society that we must make a list. But first, full disclosure: I love elephants, I always have, and it has nothing to do with their symbology relating to the GOP. I just think they’re very cool animals. But as appealing as they are, they are indeed just that: Animals.

And before anyone starts hollering, “How do you know the NRP are leftists?”…  Does anyone really think conservatives would pull something like this? Rest assured, there’s not a registered Republican in the entire lot. Now the list:

– Leftists are becoming increasingly detached from reality. Facts don’t matter, it’s how one feels that’s important. The NRP wants Happy to be a human, therefore they assert that she is, and the rest of us are supposed to play along.

– Speaking of “she,” as Mr. Wise referred to Happy, a question: Who is Mr. Wise to apply a random pronoun to poor, victimized Happy? For all we know, not only does Happy identify as a human being, but ‘they’ may also identify as a man. You transphobe.

– There’s the matter of priorities. We have crime rampant in the streets, particularly in New York. We have criminals being released into society in the name of equity. And these yahoos are tying up our legal system trying to have Happy the Elephant declared a human being?

– And by the way, if Happy is human, what race does he/she/they belong to? Logic would tell us Happy identifies as Asian-American, but don’t be surprised if we hear Happy is a member of a more ‘marginalized’ victimhood group.

– There are nincompoops who take this nonsense seriously, including presumably the Axios author Ivana Saric who explained, “It was the first time the highest court in any English-speaking jurisdiction heard such a case brought on behalf of a nonhuman animal.” Can’t you just hear the political correctness in calling Happy a “nonhuman animal?” And since you were so careful to clarify that it was a first in “any English-speaking jurisdiction,” what about animal languages, Ms. Saric? Can you confirm whether there were any such cases in elephant-speaking jurisdictions?

– We’ve had transgender insanity hit the American mainstream, obviously, and we’ve also seen attempts to normalize ‘trans-race,’ where members of one race ‘identify’ as members of another race. But, how much longer will it be before we have whack jobs pressing the idea of trans-species? “I’m a human, but I identify as a Koala.” It can only be a matter of time.

On a positive note, we can at least take comfort in knowing that sanity has prevailed, for now. Five out of seven of the judges, which is 71%, recognized the absurdity of the NRP’s argument, and let’s forget about the other 29% who have apparently lost their minds. Also, let’s appreciate the fact that this happened in the State of New York, one of the most leftwing states in the country. What do you suppose the verdict would have been if the case had been brought before a California court? Happy would have really been happy.

By Jess Lawson

Jess Lawson is a regular contributor to The Blue State Conservative and a passionate, conservative millennial who loves America.

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